Serving Marin County & Beyond
A Letter From Your Child, Ten Years From Now
About what’s happening in your house right now.
Written from 30 years of working with and listening to kids.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I’m writing from ten years down the road. I turned out okay. Better than okay. I know how hard you’re trying right now: the tutors, the testing, the late nights. I’m grateful for all of it. But there are some things I wish you knew now, while it still matters most.
Right now, it may look like I’m not trying. I am. My ADHD isn’t just about attention. It’s about time, follow-through, routines, and feelings that come on too big and too fast. I’m not lazy. I’m lost in the everyday steps that seem easy for everyone else.
Right now, you’re doing things for me because you love me. The tutor who helps me cross the finish line, the room you clean when I’m overwhelmed. It feels like help, but it takes away the practice I need to become independent.
I need you to let me fail while the stakes are small. Learning to handle disappointment at 10 is so much easier than learning it at 21 in college, or at 25, when a job is on the line.
When the reminders turn into warnings, I shut down. It’s like rewinding the same fight every time. What I need is to know and feel that we're on the same team.
I need roadmaps, not more talking. Once I have a clear process, I can follow it. Show me, sit beside me. Then step back so I can try it on my own.
Here’s what I most wish you knew right now: I’m not giving you a hard time. I’m having a hard time.
What helps most isn’t pushing me harder. It’s changing the spaces, routines, and conversations around me. That’s the part you can actually control.
And if I have two homes, keep things consistent and keep me out of the middle.
When you stay calm and curious, I feel supported. I know you have my back and I can come to you for help. And when it goes sideways, coming back to fix it matters, too.
I know I’m not the easiest kid, and you’re doing your best with what you know. Thanks for not giving up on me.
Love,
Your Kid
PS: It was me who broke grandma's vase. Sorry!
You don’t have to wait ten years to learn this.
Insight helps you understand what’s happening.
Coaching gives you the skills to change it: what to say, what not to say, and how to show up differently in ways your kid will feel, starting this week.